I would imagine that column inches are expensive. I would imagine that airtime minutes are expensive.

So when reading a news story or watching one on TV, I always ask myself, “What makes this story worth the expense?” That is, why are these news outlets spilling so much ink and burning so many radio waves on this?

What’s with all the interest in Bill Cosby all of a sudden? Why would a news organization lend its platform to accusers lodging allegations of events forty years ago? The allegations are certainly titillating enough, and that does make for good television. But I’d like to think that the news biz would aspire to a standard higher than boobies and boners.

If I were a criminal investigator –which, in some respects, a stand-up comedian is– my first priority would be to verify facts before they become facts. That means that when we proceed from false fundamentals we must necessarily arrive at false conclusions. For example, if this nation were to have taken a breather and examined the physical evidence plainly available at Ground Zero on 9-11, we would have dryly noted that the presence of a Pratt and Whitney JT9D-7 series engine compressor on Murray Street quite logically and necessarily precluded the presence at the scene of the crime of Flight 175.

You might have then gone on to get the right guys instead of murdering millions and bankrupting yourselves morally, financially, and militarily. You’re completely spent. As a result, your nation is now dead. If I had to take a guess about what happens next, I would say that the bankers and the foreign and domestic intelligence agencies that effortlessly conquered your nation will divide white against black, starting with riots in Ferguson. And as your nation distracts and consumes itself with a civil war sparked by this engineered internecine strife, the Chinese and Russians will terminate your nation with EMP bursts and neutron bombs.

You have no idea what’s about to happen to you, do you? Your nation has lost the moral claim to continued existence. It will be terminated. Your nation will be completely annihilated. Every universal sense of propriety and justice demands it. It’s cosmic law. Crime doesn’t pay. There’s no cheating the hangman. You’ve incrementally wound that clock spring in the wrong direction for years and it will now spring back violently. What comes around goes around. And the world will laugh as your nation dies. The land of truth and justice is about to get a heaping helping.

But anyway, let’s take a look at the Washington Post and NBC, two of the prime spillers of ink on this Bill Cosby story. Those two organizations have no cause to be bringing items of discussion to the national table because they routinely avoid covering the most relevant news items of the day. They’ve managed to get the 9-11 story wrong for a baker’s dozen of years. Do you suppose they will ever break that most explosive of stories about that incompatible engine hardware that disproves the entire erroneous Kindergarten-level fairy tale about Osama bin Laden and his merry band of malcontents, and how they could not have theoretically installed incompatible engine hardware on Flight 175 without anyone noticing?

Of course not. That’s a bit silly, isn’t it?

NBC and the Washington Post are not really in the news business. They’re in the propaganda business. It’s not that the talent there are incapable of speaking the truth and doing some really bang-up journalism; it’s that the corporate owners of those outlets will immediately fire anyone who speaks the truth.

Print and television are dead media. Nothing of any relevance happens there. And as far as comedy goes, television is the Faberge Egg of transmission media: You look at it crosseyed and it smashes into a million pieces. There is nothing of any comedic political significance occurring on any television channel. No television personality is stepping on the toes of anyone possessing the first iota of political power. And again, it’s not that the talent are incapable of it. It’s just that they’ll lose their shows. And they know that. They know where their bread is buttered. Though he was not involved in comedy, witness Dylan Ratigan of MSNBC. Can you fathom that man’s effrontery? He got a thought into his head! MSNBC long ago got rid of anyone doing news.

So. We know that the Washington Post and NBC are not in the news business. Despite the preferences of the talent there, the corporate chieftains are in the propaganda business. And we also know that those outlets have spilled endless ink on Bill Cosby. Why? What’s their motive? Why represent forty-year-old, unsubstantiated allegations to be the scoop of the century when there are so many genuine scoops of the century so close at hand?

The host of Meet the Press said the one sensical thing I heard this morning: “Bill Cosby bridged the divide between white and black America.” Bingo.

What do the bankers who conquered your nation require? They require that the nation remain divided. A nation divided cannot stand. And a nation that cannot stand cannot arrest these bankers.

Bill Cosby has the potential to be a political figure, one who brings white and black America together. So that political potential, obviously, had to be neutralized. His credibility had to be destroyed, employing that thinnest of evidence, completely unsubstantiated allegations, some of them anonymous, allegations of events supposed to have occurred thirty or forty years ago. It’s pretty thin gruel.

So since I know that the Washington Post and NBC do not do news, and since they spill endless ink on some pretty thin gruel, that tells me, absent any corroborating evidence at all, that there is likely nothing to the allegations. It tells me that the corporate owners of those outlets have instructed their employees to ruin Bill Cosby’s career and smear his name.

In short, known propaganda outlets like the Washington Post and NBC are smearing Bill Cosby. He must pose some sort of a threat to the system. What other possible function could those two outlets perform, since we know that they are in no way doing news?

That’s how you read the “news” in contemporary America: ‘who,’ ‘what,’ ‘where,’ ‘when,’ and, most importantly, ‘consider the source.’

It’s an unfortunate reality, isn’t it? You take what the Washington Post and NBC say, invert it, and you’ll have the truth. And as usual, I’ll be the bad guy for pointing that out.

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