Judge, I’ve refined my arguments.

Like stand-up, law profits by an economy of speech. The tighter you wind the spring, the more violently it releases that energy.

If the so-called Justice Department unwisely ever again were to request my presence before you on any matter, I would reply thusly:

“I do not concede that I am the legal person you’re looking for. I will permit you five minutes to demonstrate that I am.

“And if I may gently and respectfully inquire, by precisely what means does this assembly speak on legal matters? You do not appear so equipped.

“In short, good sir, why are you talking?”

You hired on with the wrong outfit, mister. You might want to leave it off your C.V.

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