I walk down the street with a gun in my pants whenever I might feel like it for so many reasons. Perhaps chief among them is that I have zero respect for that federal entity’s “legal system.”

That once-beautiful machine is like some great foreign apparatus on an alien planet, constructed by whom and for what purposes the human explorers can only speculate. So they start stabbing their fat fingers at it and fiddling with the knobs. The finely tuned machine, subject to this abuse, shudders and groans and throws sparks everywhere, destroying itself and its unskilled operators in a great, blinding flash.

The United States legal system was destroyed by unskilled operators who didn’t understand that moral authority is the power source by which the machine functions. When the machine’s operations are unskillfully directed toward prosecuting color-of-law frauds, the system loses moral authority, and it loses respect, and it loses the ability to command anything of anyone.

Greasy lawyers, talking their greasy words of art, destroyed the United States legal system by bamboozling everyone and pulling quarters out of people’s ears and playing “Got your nose!”

I’ve proven to everyone’s satisfaction here in my theater that the federal personal income tax is largely a color-of-law fraud. Fully ninety-nine percent of the people in this country are in no way liable for the tax. And the IRS knows that. And the Justice Department knows that. But do you think that will stop the prosecutions for so-called tax evasion and willful failure to file? Of course not.

And that is why I completely disregard United States “law.” I have zero respect for the federal legal system. It’s not about me; it’s about you. It’s not about my being a bad man or a terriss. It’s about you constituting inexpert operators of that once-beautiful machine. Why, we have Chief Justices of the United States Supreme Court who don’t even know what a tax is. How could Obamacare possibly be a tax if avoiding the tax is a legal impossibility, an avenue of avoidance being a definitional component of an indirect tax? The man is either stupid or crooked, I’m not sure which.

That federal entity’s “legal system” is such a disingenuous parade of idiocy that the Justice Department could indict me all day long for anything and I wouldn’t even show up. That’s how much respect I have for that “legal system.” I’ve got better things to do with my time than to be delayed in my personal business even long enough to address “indictments” lodged by that crack whore. By precisely what moral authority does the town crack whore indict anyone of anything?

Judge, did you install a foosball table in your chamber like I suggested? I have another idea: You know how there’s the marble basin at the door at the Catholic church with holy water in it? And the parishioners dab a finger in it and anoint themselves in the sign of the cross? Well, I think that federal judges should place used cooking grease at the entrance to the court house. It doesn’t have to be in anything so ornate as a marble basin. Just put an old Tupperware container on a pedestal by the door. You can get old Tupperware containers for free sometimes, like at a yard sale when the sale is over and the leftover junk that didn’t sell gets put on a card table by the side of the road with a “Free” sign on it.

And you can get used cooking grease for free, too. So this is something that you can do even if there’s nothing in the budget. You can get dirty old cooking oil from whatever fast food restaurant. They get rid of it all the time. And then you can put the filthy Tupperware container on a pedestal by the door and just pour the dirty cooking oil into it, even if it’s got leftover pieces of charred french fry in it. The lawyers won’t mind.

And when the lawyers come in for work that day, they just anoint themselves with their holy water. Like the woman in the soap commercial who smiles and splashes water from the basin and onto her face in the expectation of receiving renewed beauty, the filthy beasts who will speak before you that day can smile ecstatically as they splash filthy cooking oil all over their faces. And then they’ll be as greasy as everyone maintains they are.

And then you can nod sagely as they knowingly prosecute their color-of-law frauds, like putting people in jail for failing to pay a tax they are in no way supposed to pay. And everyone knows that now. Thanks for the stage.

So is Ding Dong Diction United States going to halt all pending prosecutions for so-called tax evasion and willful failure to file? Of course not.

Are you gonna spring that elderly couple in New Hampshire who holed up on their property a few years ago as United States animals roamed the woods like jackals in pursuit of prey who were in no way liable for the tax in the first place? Of course not.

I do not expect those things to happen, because those things are not in that jurisdiction’s nature. Much like I had zero expectation of ever receiving compensation for my stolen ham radio, it was enough for me that the thieves knew that I knew.

You know that I know. And that is enough for me.

When I confronted those thieves about my ham radio, and once they knew that I knew, their eyes fell to their shoes. They couldn’t look me in the eye. And they stood mute.

A jurisdiction is a moral person, for reasons I have already explained. This means that it is bound by the same laws which govern human interaction. When a jurisdiction knows that one knows, its eyes fall to its shoes and it stands mute. That is the very definition of losing jurisdiction.

I guarantee you that I would never be indicted for anything because no one in that courtroom would want to face me. No one would want to feel the inexorable weight pulling their eyes to the floor and sealing their mouths. It’s just so embarrassing to know that someone knows.

As I’ve said before, Judge, you were the sole fount of pure non-idiocy in that courtroom. But if the inexpert operators of that once-beautiful machine were unwisely to indict me for anything, I’d just stand there. I wouldn’t say anything. I would just allow my heavy-lidded gaze to compel your eyes to fall to the floor. And then you’d throw your pen across the room and tell me to get out of your courtroom. And that would be that.

So if that crack whore of a nondiction, with its greasy, filthy, inexpert operators, ever wants to assemble the moral authority once again to speak on any legal matter, I suggest that you halt all pending prosecutions for tax evasion and willful failure to file, crimes which ninety-nine percent of the indicted could not even theoretically have committed, considering that the Sixteenth Amendment never conferred the new taxing authority that the IRS disingenuously claims that it did.

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