Senator, I think I’ve devised a solution equitable to all parties.

It satisfies everyone’s desires. It satisfies my audience’s desire to sit in rapt attention to my every word, and it satisfies my desire to get good at the touch pee pee game.

Henceforth, I will rarely publish my material. As you may know, I use the WordPress client on my Kindle. I compose my pieces at home and then upload them for publishing when I enter a Wi-Fi zone.

But even that is too much trouble. So from now on I will permit my target audience to go get the material themselves. I will leave the Bluetooth activated on my Kindle at all times. You or your assigns may hack into my Kindle wirelessly and copy my pieces for distribution to my larger audience.

How’s that sound?

We’ll be covering the upcoming and now-certain civil war, we’ll be taking about how nukes will be popping off in various cities including Washington, and we’ll be covering all sorts of fun things.

So if my target audience of government employees wish to know what will happen to them in the upcoming civil war, I suggest that they tune in, turn on, and hack into my Kindle. You have my permission. (Just don’t put anything there.)

The touch pee pee game is fun, isn’t it?

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