Do you remember a few months ago that I said we were “in between books,” so to speak, of some adventure series?

It is clear to me now that we are about to turn to the first page of the next book.

Everything is going to change radically, soon.

This Ebola outbreak is engineered. We know that because it is genetically distinct from the two prevalent variants, Zaire and Marburg. A close inspection will identify precisely which laboratory produced it. This variant was released into the wild in western Africa to lend to it the appearance of an organic outbreak. And its introduction into the United States was deliberate as well; you simply don’t fly into a nation a patient infected with a pathogen with a ninety per cent mortality rate. No one’s that stupid.

It is only a matter of time before the United States counts its first confirmed case of Ebola. This will likely happen in the next month or two or six. But it will happen.

And at that time, entire cities and states will be quarantined. Supply trucks will not run. The United States will be officially converted overnight from a first world nation into the banana republic that it’s aped for the past decade. The death squads will roam free, protected by the vaccine as they will be. And the world as you have known it will be over. It’ll be Mad Max at Thunderdome.

And that was the plan, executed by the cuckoo nutjobs who cooked up three thousand people on 9-11 in a Luciferian, Masonic blood sacrifice to their lord, Satan.

You should listen to this episode of the Haggmann and Haggmann Report, starring our very own Agent Mulder with a Bible, Steve Quayle, and special guest, Doctor S. Those two will tell you everything you need to know about what to expect.

So we’re entering our next book. I don’t know what comes in the future. All I know is that we’re there now. And we can leave the past behind. All is forgiven. It’s yesterday’s news.

But when you think of me as your world crumbles, you can say, “Huh. I now understand why Chris dedicated an entire decade of his life to this undertaking and spent every penny and set aside opportunity after opportunity. I now see why he spoke so stridently and took so many risks as he multiplied his force and mapped out his environment and employed game theory and chaos theory to climb to the stage upon which he now walks at his leisurely pace. It is now perfectly apparent to me that he can see past the nose on his own face. He saw all this coming a mile away. Maybe he’s not so kooky after all. Imagine what he might have achieved had we acknowledged his mere existence or even bought our tickets.”

So thanks for making my job more difficult. But no matter. I don’t hold grudges. I’ll just sigh a bit more deeply and shake my head as I continue working in your behalf. I might like those flowers, though.


P.S. You can see why I’m not terribly concerned about drivers licenses and filing tax returns and lodging lawsuits. I’ve got bigger fish to fry right about now.


Senator, I think I’ve devised a solution equitable to all parties.

It satisfies everyone’s desires. It satisfies my audience’s desire to sit in rapt attention to my every word, and it satisfies my desire to get good at the touch pee pee game.

Henceforth, I will rarely publish my material. As you may know, I use the WordPress client on my Kindle. I compose my pieces at home and then upload them for publishing when I enter a Wi-Fi zone.

But even that is too much trouble. So from now on I will permit my target audience to go get the material themselves. I will leave the Bluetooth activated on my Kindle at all times. You or your assigns may hack into my Kindle wirelessly and copy my pieces for distribution to my larger audience.

How’s that sound?

We’ll be covering the upcoming and now-certain civil war, we’ll be taking about how nukes will be popping off in various cities including Washington, and we’ll be covering all sorts of fun things.

So if my target audience of government employees wish to know what will happen to them in the upcoming civil war, I suggest that they tune in, turn on, and hack into my Kindle. You have my permission. (Just don’t put anything there.)

The touch pee pee game is fun, isn’t it?

This is required listening for any who wish to know how the world really works.

It’s the August 15 episode of the Haggmann and Haggmann Report, one of the handful of sources to which I turn to get my information. Why do I get it right so often? It’s because I spend my time listening only to those who understand the world.

This episode features W, the Intelligence Insider. He discusses any number of things, such as the reliance upon numerology by those sons of Isis who attacked your nation on 9-11, those sons’ efforts to eliminate Adamic DNA from all humans, and all sorts of interesting things. W comes on at the one hour mark.

This episode is especially useful for law enforcement types because W discusses the “secret handshake” importance of the numerological practices of the Luciferians. You can’t predict your enemy’s next move until you understand what motivates him. Satan (Lucifer) seeks the total elimination of Adam’s seed (Adamic DNA.)

Once you understand that the elimination of Adamic DNA from the human genome is the goal, and when you couple that knowledge with the admittedly funny sense of humor of these Luciferians, you can see that when genetic engineers promise a disease-free human genome if you’ll just let them modify your DNA, what they really mean is that they desire to eliminate the Adamic component of the human genome, that Adamic seed being regarded by them to be a disease, an infection.

As I said, I came to Christianity pretty late in the game. But I realized that the Bible is the most exciting accounting of history. It’s all true, if you know how to read it. It’s the most fascinating cosmic tale. It would be the most rollicking science fiction tale ever, if it were not so true.

What I will tell my audience is that Satan’s days of ruling this earth are coming to a close. He knows this. He will perform as many human blood sacrifices as possible. This world is about to experience a spilling of blood unlike anything in history.

So I suggest that you get right with Jesus Christ  –the son of man and the son of God. Jesus Christ is a human/divine hybrid containing both Adamic DNA and divine DNA. Jesus Christ is what is known as an intercessor, an attorney if you will, who argues on your behalf when you are judged by God, the architect of this place.

To get right with Jesus Christ, you need to let him into your heart. You say, “Jesus Christ, I call upon you. Please occupy my heart. Please cleanse me in the blood of the lamb so that I might be without defect before God.” And then you repent of your sins. I have to repent about once a week, so don’t feel bad if you stumble. As long as you possess good faith, repentance is something you can repeat over and over. But it’s not a get out of jail free card for the willfully wicked.

Jesus Christ is real, He is all-powerful, He is the nexus between Adamic DNA and God, and it is only through Him that a human soul avoids eternal “apartness” from the creator.

So if you trust my ability to get at the truth in this confusing world, then you do what I say and you get right with the entity known as Jesus Christ.

And then listen to W, the Intelligence Insider on the Haggmann and Haggmann Report. Everything he says squares with what I have learned from other sources.

The several states will want to mobilize their National Guard units to disarm the Department of Homeland Security.

You place a call as a professional courtesy, you show up with overwhelmingly superior force, you disarm them of all weapons, you padlock the doors, and you instruct them that they no longer possess jurisdiction. (Which will be made all the easier when their crime in Ferguson is laid out for all to see, like a stiff in a morgue.)

And by the way, once you understand that your nation was conquered you can see that the purpose of these fusion centers isn’t to effect a “fusion of law enforcement intelligence,” or somesuch, it is to fuse the local and state law enforcement agencies to the command and direction of the Homeland Security apparatus in Washington.

Those fusion centers need to be shut down immediately. In the absence of fusion of command, there can be no civil war because these bankers and their intelligence agencies cannot command the state and local cops. If they can’t win a civil war, they will not start one, which is precisely what they’re trying to do right now.

If you shut down those fusion centers, there can be no civil war. That is the prime vulnerability in their scheme for civil war. Take advantage of that vulnerability.

I think we will find that the Ferguson Police Chief is wittingly or unwittingly a party to premeditated murder in the death of Michael Brown.

One of the advantages to being America’s Senior Comedian is that I get to cut some corners. I no longer have to post excerpts and links (which works out well because I laboriously conduct my low-bandwidth show on a tablet and upload my material upon entering a Wi-Fi zone.) My target audience can see what I’m reading, so they are able to follow my line of thinking on a matter.

You remember that your nation was conquered, right? Well, the bankers who hired compartmentalized elements of domestic and foreign intelligence agencies to do that wanted to make sure that no one might regain control of the federal jurisdiction and bring those bankers and intelligence agencies to justice.

Bankers also hired that filthiest breed of person ever accidentally birthed into this world, lawyers, to defile their environment merely by opening their mouths. Once these high-priced hooker lawyers got paid, they set about issuing forth their pure, patented filth, in the form of the USA Patriot Act, the collection of pure filth that provided the legal mechanisms by which those filthy beasts, lawyers, might effectuate the dismantling of the American way of life.

Ah, do you remember the good old days when America wasn’t a lump of dog shit on the sidewalk, to be navigated around by pedestrians with perfumed handkerchiefs pressed to their noses?

But anyway, the Department of Homeland Security is a national police force. Constitutionally, the federal jurisdiction is not to possess plenary police powers within the territorial jurisdictions of the several states. So on that point alone, DHS is patently unlawful.

The bankers who executed your nation needed plenary police powers at their command. That is the purpose of the Department of Homeland Security. It’s not to helpfully help you. How could DHS possibly be in the business of helpfully helping you when they’ve studiously ignored catchin’ the bad men who put incompatible engine hardware on Murray Street? Huh? (There I go again.)

The Department of Homeland Security is a legal construct which, inch by inch, has taken physical form over the past dozen years. They now pat people down at football games. They now show up willy nilly in their black helicopters and wave guns around and grunt that they’re protecting you.

The Department of Homeland Security very badly needs to graduate from legal construct to possessing plenary police powers in all territorial jurisdictions.

(Me too. So I know the feeling.)

You will find that the Department of Homeland Security had selected a community with an adequately corrupt police department that would permit DHS to run a little operation. DHS needed to create a problem to which the solution was a militarized police response, a joint response of the Ferguson Police Department and the Department of Homeland Security.

You will find DHS provocateurs throwing Molotov cocktails. You will also find that DHS needed someone gunned down to provide the spark of the confrontation. You will find that DHS had previously run a drill in conjunction with the Ferguson Police Department regarding just such a scenario.

You will find the Ferguson Police Chief to be adequately corrupt that the Department of Homeland Security regarded his jurisdiction to be a useful and compliant environment for the metamorphosis of the Department of Homeland Security from a little worm and into a butterfly of death.

You will find the Ferguson Police Chief to be complicit, wittingly or not, in the premeditated murder of Michael Brown. See, DHS needed someone to get shot by the cops, thus sparking protests. And they needed looting, likely performed by thugs hired by DHS. And the Ferguson Police Department dutifully stood down and permitted the looting to continue unopposed.

And what of Brown’s alleged petty larceny of some cigars? The cops knew that morning that it was Brown on the surveillance video. Bingo. They’ve got their target. Some hapless goof they can claim is violent, some poor sap who became their murder target.

That cop who shot Brown? He’s crooked too. Maybe someone knows that he likes screwing little boys. Or maybe he’s got a cocaine habit. Maybe he owes someone money. Either way, he had received instructions to locate Brown and kill him, claiming the implausible, that Brown grabbed his gun.

The Department of Homeland Security is goin’ bye bye. If the several states wish to survive this revolutionary period, they will immediately terminate any collusion with that unlawful agency.

The only relevant question as we enter the civil war is this: “Do I want to go bye bye?” (Because if you answer yes, the people will possess the means and the motive to make your dreams come true.)

So I suggest that everyone choose wisely and get on the side of law, uprightness, and the venerable American spirit of justice.

This event will prove to be the undoing of the Department of Homeland Security, an unlawful, malformed accident that should have been smashed on a rock and thrown into a ravine the moment it first entered this world.

Wolfteam. Place into my legal file all news items carried by InfoWars that may be relevant to this Ferguson incident. I will use that evidence when I execute United States. The matter of the premeditated murder of Michael Brown has officially come to my attention.

It’s another one for the history books.