I sometimes confuse even myself with my lexicon of comedic words of art.

In particular, there is some confusion regarding my terms for the United States “government,” especially in its relation to the United States seated at Grafton.

I have referred to the entity in Washington as, variously, “that total parade of idiocy,” “that shit heap,” “that stinking piece of trash,” “that collapsed heap of garbage,” “the disease,” “the shit stain,” “that words-of-art wonderland of fuckin’ freakery,” “that idiot nondiction,” and who knows what all else. If any in my audience can contribute to this list, please update the relevant Wikipedia page.

So I’ve been agonizing over precisely how to discriminate between the aforementioned malfunction seated at Washington (whose “laws” no person aspiring to even the barest modicum of decency would be caught dead following) and the de jure United States Government seated at Grafton, the one for which I am the president, the jurisdiction safely protected inside a fiction created by my legal construct of a principality, United Sovereigns of America, my own jurisdiction which possesses the ability to terminate United States by speaking.

So henceforth, that forgery seated at Washington shall be known as “United Shitstain.” And the entity seated at Grafton shall assume its proper name, the United States.

This clarification of terms is necessary because I will be extending to all executive branch federal employees in my audience the option of taking instructions either from Barack Obama, the President of United Shitstain, or from Christopher King, the President of the United States.

Trust me, I’ve got this all figured out. That idiot jurisdiction won’t know whether to shit or go blind when all the cops in my audience start acting in unison under my capable direction.

So let’s have some fun by freezing that total piece of fraudulent commie trash, Barack Obama, right out of the power structure.

Do you really want to continue working for a shit stain? Or do you want to feel pride when you put on the uniform in the morning?

Look sharp. I’ll be issuing executive orders soon.

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