One of the advantages to being a professional leaf raker is that I have plenty of time to write.

The townspeople must think I’m crazy because when they see me walking down the street, I’m generally talking to myself and laughing. This is because a spoken-word piece must first be spoken. Dialogue must be spoken aloud so that it can be checked for cadence, proper number of syllables, etc. Then it may be committed to paper later as a finished product.

I’ve long been working on a television series, one that I write as I rake. It is a comedy. The working title for it is “Chris’ Madcap Adventures on Planet Credulon”.

In it, Chris just magically appears in some town, first discovered just walking down a lonely road. Chris has a girlfriend named Jelly. (Because any girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter, that I would have in real life would, by definition, be imaginary. And some viewers would get the reference and some not. And it appeals to my dark sense of humor.)

So anyway, Jelly is a mixed martial arts expert. And she is a Kung Fu master. By whatever contrivance I have not yet thought through, she and Chris meet and quickly decide to be boyfriend-girlfriend. They don’t actually ever touch. But they’re a team now.

Chris is hired by an elderly woman to clean out an old barn, full of her deceased husband’s treasures. One of them is the original K.I.T.T. car from the hit television series “Knight Rider.” The question of precisely how the old man came to be in possession of that car is left studiously unanswered as there is room for only so many contrivances in a TV show. Perhaps the man was an automotive engineer who designed and built the car for use in the show. Chris shakes a deal with the elderly woman and buys the car for some small amount.

Chris and Jelly find themselves forever embroiled in intrigues completely not of their own making. Or maybe it is their nature to attract trouble. But whatever those situations may be, Chris and Jelly handle them with great flair and aplomb.

Chris gets the car up and running and shines it up. But Chris is irked by KITT’s fey voice. And KITT is always saying stupid stuff like telling Chris that “the speed limit here is thirty-five miles per hour and you really shouldn’t exceed that, Chris.”

So Chris finally gets sick and tired of listening to KITT go and on in his sissy voice. One day while driving, Chris has finally had enough. He pulls over in a dust cloud, throws the car into park, opens the hood, jumps out, starts yanking wires out from the engine compartment, pulls a thumb drive out of his pocket, and uploads a new personality into KITT.

It’s a cool vocoder voice. In the series, the part of KITT is spoken by an actor whose voice is run through a vocoder. And KITT likes to live dangerously now.

KITT is one of the show’s central characters. While he is often party to Chris and Jelly’s madcap adventures, he never actually is considered a full member of the team. He is always somehow apart. It is KITT’s station in life always to be parked in the garage, never to be invited into the house.

In that darkness, KITT sometimes sings quietly to keep himself company. In one episode in the series, fairly early on, as the episode closes, after the garage door shuts and KITT can hear everyone upstairs talking and laughing and carrying on, KITT begins singing softly. It is “Save a Prayer” by Duran Duran.

The song runs for about a minute in total. Credits begin precisely at the bridge, where the musician in the video below begins playing the upper keyboard. Credits roll for fifteen seconds and the episode closes.


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