Mister Snowden, I see that you’re still not wearing a tie as I had earlier requested.

No matter. Listen:

I’ve watched with some interest your dealings with United States. If I may presume to advise you, I have plenty of experience with that entity.

This is what you do: You privately communicate to that organized crime syndicate styling itself a jurisdiction that they either cease all legal hostilities immediately or you will publicly terminate the jurisdiction.

There are two, and only two, components to terminating a jurisdiction. One is the “goods;” that is, the information which demonstrates that the entity in question is so criminal that it cannot possibly even theoretically constitute a jurisdiction. Both you and I have the goods.

The other component, which you and I also both have, though in different forms, is what I have called “informational primacy.” This is the condition, within an informational system, of being a light so bright that it cannot be ignored. I am America’s Senior Comedian not because of who I am but because of the gravity of the material I cover. I handle the most significant and dangerous material out there. This gives me informational primacy. That primacy is further amplified and cemented in the history books by Idiotdiction United States’ unwise election to place me into a Kook Law Containment Field. In short, the “Future People” –that is, audience members who have not yet heard of me– are aware of my material at some point in the future.

Politics is show business. One axiom of show business is that if the Future People are in your audience, then the most powerful people and those who would aspire to being powerful people, also, necessarily, will be in your audience today. This is because they don’t want to “miss out on anything,” so to speak. If I have the ability to terminate United States by speaking, for example, then it necessarily follows that the Office of the President are in my audience. (And they’ve still never bought their tickets.)

Alas, I am stuck in a Kook Law Containment Field from which, despite my every machination and intrigue, have been unable to extricate myself.

So if you enjoy my work and think that I might deserve not to have to dumpster-dive for scrap lumber that I might burn as firewood in the winter, if you think I might deserve groupies and a comedy career, and if those objectives are congruent with your needs to remove from your existence that nettlesome little piece of trash styling itself a jurisdiction, you have my permission to publicly execute it.

You have my permission to use the Capta Brightstick Document to terminate that little insignificance which insists on bedeviling you. Just give proper attribution, that’s all I ask.

Warmly,

Christopher King

America’s Senior Comedian,
Problem Solver Extraordinaire,
One-Man Weapons System for Truth,
Principal, United Sovereigns of America

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